Day Three: Meeting Camille's "Foster Family"

Day Three began really really early in the morning. I suppose my body hasn't adjusted to the time yet because I've been waking up during the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep. Last night was no different, so I ended up uploading photos and blogging until the wee hours of the morning. Camille woke up before the sun came up, so I took her outside to see the stars. We walked around the beautiful hotel grounds and gazed at the night sky. I carried her for our entire twenty minute midnight adventure. It was a nice, quiet bonding moment.

BTW, Camille refused to fall asleep in her crib last night. That's interesting since it was brought here to give her a sense of normalcy. Ever the optimist, Regina interpreted this as Camille's way of saying that she wants to stay with us. After all, theorized Reg-the-philosopher, the crib represents her life as a family-less child. Camille doesn't want that anymore. (Way to see the glass as half full, babe! That's pretty deep.)

Anyway, when the sun rose, we joined Reg's mom and aunts and took pictures around the hotel grounds (we're so Filipino like that). We had breakfast at the hotel and then relaxed until Darren picked us up at 10:30.

When Darren picked us up, we were off to see Camille's "foster family". At "The Little Children's Home", Deborah and Darren allow their staff to take time off during the Easter and Christmas holidays. When this happens, each young child spends the holidays with a volunteer family. These family's are referred to as "foster families". Camille spent her first two Christmases and her first Easter with an absolutely wonderful foster family who happen to attend Deborah and Darren's church. Camille's foster family includes Rebecca, Mark and their three young kids.

Their home is approximately an hour away from our hotel, so I was able to chat it up with Darren in the car. I picked his brain about a bunch of different topics, such as the inflated prices Filipinos charge white people in the PI, how he enjoys driving in crazy trafic, and the pros and cons of riding a motorcycle in Filipino traffic. Interesting guy, Darren is. He looks like Jesus Christ, was raised in the woods, never had a TV until he was 12 or 13, reads books ALL THE TIME, teaches philosophy at a Filipino seminary, and helps run a birthing home and orphanage in a third world country. All on a missionary's salary. Amazing.

One unforgettable sight we saw on the way was a couple on a motorcycle. The guy was driving the motorcycle, the mother was in the back, and child (age 4?) was standing up on the chair wedged between them, being held by the mom. The parents were wearing helmets but the child was not. And get this, the boy (I assume) was carrying an umbrella to shield them from the sun. I desperately wanted to take a picture, but given Filipino traffic, they were out of sight in a flash.

When we arrived at Rebecca and Mark's home, our jaws dropped. Mark and Rebecca are American citizens living in the Philippines. Mark apparently has a very good position for an American company, so I believe he gets a salary comparable to a well paid American in America. Because the dollar stretches to far in the Philippines, Camille's foster family is living large-and-in-charge. Cha-ching! Their enormous house (I'm guessing 5,000 square feet, plus a pool) is in a gated community filled with politicians, other well off "ex pats", lots of old school Filipino money, and (that's right you TFC lovers), Filipino movie starts -- can you say, Lea, Pops and Aga? Comparing their house and gated community to the poor areas we've seen is like comparing Malibu Beach to downtown Pakistan on a really hot day. Luxury.

I'm not exactly sure how the foster family selection process works, but it's really downright erie how similar Regina and Rebecca are. They names both begin with the letters "RE" and end in the letter "A". They both have rich husbands named Mark (rich in love, at least). They both met their husbands in junior high. They both have lots of kids. They both have a bunny, turtles and fish. Rebecca has a beagle, Reg wants a beagle. They both tried to get a hermit crab, but the crab didn't survive. They both have big toyrooms in their homes. They bought the same high chair. They have very similar parenting philosophies. They both love taking pictures of their family. Rebecca has three yayas (maids), and Regina wishes she had three yayas. And most importantly, they both love Camille! Yes, Rebecca clearly has a special place in her heart for Camille. Unlike us, Rebecca knew Camille before Camille crawled, during Camille's crawling stage, and during Camille's wobbly walking stage.

We stayed at Rebecca's house for the entire afternoon. Together with Deborah and Darren, we discussed about a wide range of topics, including the adoption process in different countries, the movement to totally ban home births in America (ridiculous), unsuccessful adoption matches, illegal adoptions, and so much more. (I even learned a little about speed reading, since Deborah comes from a family of super bionic readers). After over twenty years in the birthing/adoption business, Deborah and Darren can fill a book with their experiences. Maybe I'll suggest that to them.

Camille seemed quite at home in Rebecca's house, and after a while, she was comfortably sitting in Rebecca's arms. Rebecca gave us a CD containing pictures of Camille's experiences with Rebecca's family. (You know how much we love pictures!). She cried when we left, but before we did, we assured both Rebecca and Mark that we would tell Camille all about them when she's old enough to understand.After leaving Rebecca's house, we got back into traffic and went to the hotel. On the long ride to the hotel, I spoke with Darren about everything from the salaries of laundry women (around 7 bucks a day, give or take a few bucks) to the image of lawyers in the PI (very good for civil attorneys).

When we got to hotel, Regina was so exhausted, she crashed almost immediately. Camille and I, meanwhile, were wide awake. So, I played with Camille until she tired out. She would stick her tongue out and making a farting sound, then I'd fall down as if she shot me with her saliva fart. She laughed hysterically each of the 300 times we did that.

Eventually, Camille fell asleep next to her mommy. Interestingly, she still doesn't want to be put to sleep in her crib. We're fine with that since our kids all slept with us when they were little. In fact, Daniel and Kyle still crawl into our bed in middle of night at least 3 times a week.

Camille will still only let Regina and I carry her. Reg's mom has tried every trick in the book to get Camille into her arms, but Camille refuses. She plays with her grandma, but for now, she only wants to be carried by her forever mommy and forever daddy. I keep telling her to get used to grandma because that's baby sitter number 1 back in the States! I know the bond will happen soon, and when it does, I'll be sure to take a picture for you all.

Adaption-wise, Camille has been great. We've read many stories of adoptive parents who've had very dificult times bonding with their new child, so we feel very very blessed. Camille seems completely comfortable with us. I think that is a credit to how she was raised at the orphanage. From what I gather, the children there are raised with adoption in mind. In other words, Deborah and Darren do everything they can to get these children into families. As Darren so eloquently put it, "every day that a child is with us is a failure" because that means that they (Deborah and Darren) haven't placed the child with a family yet. This mentality explains why Deborah and Darren never refer to "The Little Children's Home" (TLC) as an "orphanage." To them, an orphanage is an institutionalized place where kids grow up until they're 18. TLC is simply referred to as a "baby home" since the children are only there for a brief moment until they are adopted.

Till tomorrow ...