Why We Adopted

I'm sure many, many people have wondered why on Earth Reg and I would want to adopt. After all, we already have four, healthy children. Our house is quite modest. We are living on a single income, and judging by the size of my kids, I can assure you, there won't be any basketball scholarships coming our way. When people ask us why we've decided to adopt, we usually say something light, such as (1) "Why not?" (That's a creative); (2) "Since we look like Brad and Angelina, we might as well act like Brad and Angelina" (That's my favorite); (3) "We've got to catch up to Octomom so we, too, can make millions!"; or (4) "We need one more to make a basketball team."

In all seriousness, there are many, many reasons why we've chosen to adopt. Below are just a few reasons that come to mind, but they are absolutely in no particular order of importance:

1. We Love Kids: Reg won't admit this, but it's obvious to me that she's quite a natural when it comes to dealing with kids. Some people are good at computers Others are good at networking. Reg is really good with kids. That's why she majored in Child Development, became a preschool teacher, and plans to return to the Child Development field when all our kids are grown up. While I've always loved being around kids (my family says I've never really grown up), I've truly grown to love everything about parenthood. Sure there are tough times -- such as when the autistic boy was "playfully" attacking Kyle at the playground, or when Jason sledded face first into a giant log, or when a 7 year old boy asked my 6 year old Lauren for her phone number and SHE GAVE IT TO HIM (yikes!) -- but in the end, there's nothing better than tickling the kids in bed on a lazy Saturday morning, or watching their creativity flourish as they perform a play in dress-up costumes, or listening to them squeal as they play "let's tackle dad for the 20th time today." Parenthood is not for everyone ... but for us, it's everything.
2. We Really Want Lauren To Have a Sister: As Reg can attest, there is something special about having a close sisterly bond. Reg's sister lives less than 10 minutes away from us. She and Reg talk all the time. They regularly watch (and house) each other's kids. They are Godmothers to each other's kids. And they were each other's Maid/Matron of Honor. No doubt influenced by Reg's close bond with her sister, we really wanted Lauren to have a sister as well.
3. Gabriella's Death; In 2002, Reg gave birth to a full term baby girl who shockingly died approximately 24 hours after her birth. I think it's safe to say that if Gabriella lived, we would never have adopted a baby girl. But that doesn't necessarily mean that we never would have adopted. After all, if Gabriella lived, then Daniel and Kyle wouldn't be here, and we could very well have gone on to have one or two more baby girls. If that were the case, we might have adopted a baby boy to ensure that Jason could have a brother. Who knows? All that I know is this: Although we wish Gabriella had survived, I simply can't imagine my life without Daniel and Kyle. And if it weren't for Gabriella's passing, we would never have had this opportunity to be Camille's parents. Our Lord and our Savior works in mysterious ways, and we don't question for a moment the path He has chosen for us.
4. Four C-Sections Is Enough! We've been told by several doctors that C-sections get riskier and risker after two or three. (The risk is that the mom's stomach can burst open like Aliens because it's been cut open so many times). Reg has had four C-sections (Lauren, Gabriella, Daniel and Kyle). After Kyle was born happy and healthy, we simply didn't want to press our luck and get Reg pregnant again.
5. We Feel that We Have Something to Offer: Although we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, our house is overflowing with love, fun and happiness. Why not share that with someone less fortunate? Which leads me to ...
6. Helping the Less Fortunate: I know this sounds super corny, but we really do want to help the less fortunate. However, rather than handing the homeless guy in the parking lot a dollar or feeding a group of poor, hungry people on Thanksgiving, how wonderful would it be to completely alter the life of a child who could otherwise end up on the street living a life of poverty? We recognize that adopting Camille is not going to end Filipino poverty, but that shouldn't stop us, right?
7. Helping the Philippines: The amount and extent of poverty in the Philippines is almost unimaginable to those of us living in the States. During our two visits to the PI, we have seen many, many children living on the filthy streets of Manila. We can't adopt them all, but we can remove one of those kids from a life of extreme poverty. It's the least we can do for the country we still refer to as "home". (FYI for all you non-Filipinos: No matter how long a Filipino has lived abroad, he/she still refers to a trip to the PI as "going home to the Philippines"). Moreover, with regard to the poverty here, it is personally quite moving. Yes, I've seen images of the poor on the National Geographic channel. Yes, I've bought chicklets from the beggar children in Tijuana. Yes, I've seen "Slumdog Millionaire." And, yes, I've personally interacted with hundreds of homeless people as a part of my job. But I am a parent now, and I am a proud Filipino. And there is just something about seeing my own peeps in these horrid living conditions that just tugs at this guy's Filipino heart.
8. We've Always Wanted a Big Family: I'm one of 4 and Reg is one of 5. For as long as we've been married, we've always said that we wanted 4 or 5 kids. It's like we predicted the future!
9. Leading by Example: Since we announced our decision to adopt, many, many couples have confided in us their desires to adopt. Maybe, just maybe, our actions will convince those couples to "take the leap."

Again, these are just some of the reasons why we've chosen to adopt. There are others, but these are the main reasons. I frankly can't recall which one of us first brought up the idea of adopting. I do recall, however, that about four years ago, a co-worker of mine was in the process of adopting. She showed me a flier she got at an adoption workshop. The flier was advertising Filipino Adoptions and it advertised a ridiculously low price of well under $10,000 (BTW, that price turned out too good to be true). Knowing that other types of international adoptions can cost upwards of $30,000, I thought the flier was worth showing to Reg. After she saw it, we both agreed to look into it. At the time, Reg was pregnant with Kyle, and we knew that she was going to give birth to another boy. So, I did my research, and about a month after Kyle was born, I requested an application from my adoption agency. The rest, as you can plainly see, is history ...